Raisins

There is a part of town in Istanbul called Zincirlikuyu that is known (by me at least) for its metrobus stop. The metrobus is a long bus that gets its own express lane on the highway. I've taken it a few days by myself, but they've changed around the exits since when I used to live here and I've gotten lost with all the signs. It's like an underground maze, with miles of walking and signs few and far between. Sure, it's easy for those who have taken it often during the last year, but for one who expected it to be an easy "turn right and go up the stairs" like it used to be, it's not so easy anymore. Not only are the signs difficult to follow, the experience reminds me each time that I'm living in a labyrinth of time. Though my body is in the present, my head is still stuck in the past and my mind is focused on the future.  

Change is hard. Returning to a place you once knew well and realizing it's different is like biting into a raisin cookie when you thought it was chocolate chip. 

On Friday I returned to my high school for "alumni day". Ten alumni showed up and considering the size of my school, it was a pretty good turn out. It was wonderful to be back at the school again and see some old friends, but it was also a big reminder that things change. I barely know any of the high schoolers now, and many teachers have turned over too. They've also remodeled the outside playground area, and made some fixes to a few rooms inside. 

Of course, many things have stayed the same. The stage still has the ugly, stained blue carpet that I played piano on for four years during assembly, and the staircase still has that low spot where those of us taller than 5'5" have to duck. Amidst all the changes with people and remodeling, it's these little things that hold me together. 

I watched Kate & Leopold this last week. (I needed a sappy romance movie to cheer me up after a frustrating time at the Korean consulate). It's another Meg Ryan movie about a man named Leopold from the 1800s who comes to present day New York through a time portal. He goes through complete culture shock and simply, ultimate change-shock! I feel like I can relate to him a lot these days. 

But even raisin cookies can be good when you throw out your expectations and find something else good you weren't even looking for. Leopold fell in love when he went to the future. The new remodeling of the school actually looks nice and was a good investment. The new people in high school show that the school is growing and thriving. 

Despite change, being back has been a really good experience and I have loved the time I've had to catch up with family and old friends. 

Even if it means I have to eat a raisin cookie every so often, it has all been so worth it. :)