RAFTing

Another two weeks have floated by since I last wrote! I don't know where time has gone! It is crazy how life can become so normal in a place that was once considered so foreign. By now I am used to seeing a sea of black (and red) hair when I am walking to class, and to not knowing what's going on around campus since I don't understand any signs. Many things took time to adjust to at first, but now I barely think about them anymore.

These last two weeks have been all over the place emotionally. I will be saying goodbye soon to this place I have learned to call home. Jochiwon, Korea will always have a special place in my heart and I cannot believe the time has come for me to leave. My thoughts are everywhere, and I have begun RAFTing again: the process of Reconciliation, Affirmation, Farewells and Think Destination that I know all too well. It is a tool designed for TCKS, but applies to anyone in transition. I have learned a lot from following the simple steps.

Click here for more explanation on the TCK RAFT

Though my thoughts are everywhere and often my heart is preoccupied, these days have been full of little events like cafe dates, game nights, fun roommate conversations, skype dates, farewell parties, continual laughter at cultural blunders, and late-night talks with my best friend by a stream in the town talking through how God is growing both of us. It is these little events that brighten each day. 

A dear friend of mine reminded me of this verse earlier this week:

A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit. 
Proverbs 15:13

Oh how very true that is! With finals coming up, goodbyes on my mind and other burdens on my heart, it is easy to feel like you're wrestling with God in a battle that you know you cannot win. As Christians and strangers in this world, God does not call us to be happy at all times. (How terribly unhappy the "happiness" would feel if it was forced!) Yet, He does tell us to rejoice at all times, and to trust him always. 

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 
1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. 
Proverbs 3:5-6

Our maker is an awesome God. He is full of love for you and me, and full of understanding. In every change comes a new opportunity to trust in Him. As I say goodbye to the friends I have made here and the places I have fallen in love with, I must continue to remember that God has my heart and that He is good. Though nervous, I look forward to this next change, because I know He will carry me through the waves, one paddle at a time.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 
Romans 8:28

43200 Minutes

As of today, I have exactly one month until I leave South Korea. My head is full of thoughts and my heart is full of feelings. I am nervous about leaving, excited about leaving, curious about leaving, thrilled about leaving..

But I find that it is often far too easy to jump ahead and wish you were elsewhere or further on in life. I have heard too many of the following statements, both from others and from inside myself. Some of them may be close to your own heart as well:

• Wishing and waiting for that one day when you will finally have your diploma in your hands.
• Wishing and waiting for that one day when you will finally be in a relationship.
• Wishing and waiting for that one day when you will finally get to travel to a foreign country.
• Wishing and waiting for that one day when you will finally be out of college debt.
• Wishing and waiting for that one day when you will finally know without a doubt God's calling for your life.
• Wishing and waiting for that one day when you will finally be free from [insert inner struggle].

Put in whatever "wishing and waiting" statement you would like, everyone has felt one somehow. And I feel it again now.

South Korea has been an amazing experience. I have loved studying abroad, and I wouldn't trade these last three months for anything! I think everyone should study abroad and get to experience the joys of being in a foreign country on your own in your youth. (If you're debating about studying abroad, go apply now!) It is such a wonderful experience to step on the soil of a new place and new culture and learn to adapt to its customs. I have learned SO much these past few months. I love Korea and I love Koreans!

Yet even though it has been wonderful, that doesn't mean that I'm not occasionally wishing and waiting for that one day when I can get on an airplane and leave too.

In all honesty, I am ready to go home. 

Which for me as a TCK, means I am ready to "feel at home". I am eager for a change in something, and my mind has told me that it needs to be a change of place or people since that is what I am used to. But I also know that it doesn't need to be that way. 

If God calls me to fall completely in love with where I am now, and feel at home here in the next 30 days, so be it!

The change can also be with perspective. A month is a long time and it is definitely enough time to continue living my life out for him here. I should be asking myself how I feel about staying, not about how I feel about leaving. Am I nervous, excited, curious or thrilled about staying? This song expresses a change in perspective that I want to have as I stay here this next month:

Now until forever

Jesus, I surrender

Show me what I don't know

More of you

I'm desperate for your presence

Longing to be with you

Lead me to a new place

More of you

Open my eyes

Let me see more of your love

More of your love

Here I will wait

Just for a glimpse of you, God

I'll wait for you God

I surrender it all. Instead of living this next month waiting for a change, I want to live this next month waiting on the Lord to show me what to do with each moment I have left. If God can use me to impact someone else's life in less than a minute, how much more can I serve him with 43200 minutes?

Oh! It makes me so very nervous, excited, curious and thrilled about staying!

Finding Nemo

~~ Studying Abroad in Korea Probs ~~

Finding Nemo Style

When you're about to leave America for Korea:

http://byt.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/9-Finding-Nemo-quotes.gif

When you want to talk to your friends back home but it's 4 am there:

http://memecrunch.com/meme/1FTAE/why-are-you-sleeping/image.png

When you're lost and trying to read Korean signs:

http://33.media.tumblr.com/8e517ab56c8d46aebc21742d821b41d9/tumblr_na05kqplVU1t2njumo1_500.gif

When your teacher still can't get your name right:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/e6/d6/da/e6d6dab538d86b15f13ef4ee343f0214.jpg

When people try to speak to you in Korean...or in English:

http://media.tumblr.com/631641804e21a4a45810ab0dc79f6e22/tumblr_inline_mocmirmhCa1rlpk9c.gif
http://24.media.tumblr.com/7afcef95dfb111f3caa865505de3d72c/tumblr_ml7eh6kpwM1r5s8qlo6_250.gif

When your American friend right next to you speaks back to them fluently:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/29/e3/e1/29e3e1c81ff9b6f72d05594883b2f884.jpg

When you hear someone make an English blunder and not even notice it:

http://img.pandawhale.com/151298-finding-nemo-he-touched-the-bu-c7Ex.gif

When a train comes and you don't know if it is going the direction or city you want it to go:

http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzx2awQJ251qm6oc3o1_500.gif

When you spot an American on the subway:

https://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lj3pdnGGVd1qchh3ho1_500.png

When you're tired of fish being served at the dining hall:

http://s3.favim.com/orig/47/disney-dory-film-finding-nemo-fish-Favim.com-436948.jpg

When someone buys food from HomePlus (Market catering to foreigners) and shares it with other exchange students:

http://31.media.tumblr.com/7daab7485a6b30212e341bcc1a18e333/tumblr_msm1fjZedE1sc0at9o1_500.gif

When there's a five-inch poisonous centipede in your shower and you name him:

http://2damnfunny.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/I-Shall-Call-Him-Squishy-and-He-Shall-Be-Mine-and-He-Shall-Be-My-Squishy-Quote-By-Dory-In-Finding-Nemo.jpg

When all you're friends back home are on summer break but you still have a month an a half left to go:

http://a.dilcdn.com/bl/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2013/06/JustKeepSwimming.jpg

--

All of these were my thoughts, but none of the photos or gifs are mine. See links below the photos. Thanks!

End of Separation, Beginning of Unification

Clara, Susanna, Stephanie and I at the DMZ.

This last Friday, my Korean Culture class took a field trip to the Demilitarized Zone between North and South Korea. We went to the 3^rd Infiltration Tunnel at Panmunjom Village, just 44 kilometers north of Seoul.

We took a 3 hour bus ride from Jochiwon to the DMZ. When we arrived we had our passports examined and ate lunch. The DMZ entrance is quite a touristic area, with many souvenir shops, a restaurant and even a small amusement park.

After our lunch we departed on an hour long tour. We first stopped at a viewing spot where we could see North Korea and look through binoculars. 

View of North Korea from the overlook spot.

View of the North Korean Flag.

Some other exchange students and I with North Korea behind us.

After the viewing, we watched a short documentary and then got to go into the 3rd tunnel. Four tunnels have been discovered, but it is believed that nearly 20 more exist. The tunnel was dug by North Korea for a surprise attack on Seoul and was discovered in 1978. It is said that it can accommodate a full division of soldiers (30,000) to pass through in one hour. It was dark and damp, and very deep.

It was a humbling experience to visit somewhere so close to North Korea. After living in South Korea for over two months, it is obvious that they desire unification with the North. Students on campus are eager to bring unity and I think many long to see the countries together again in the near future.

Me with the sign that says "End of Separation, Beginning of Unification."

Susanna and I  along with the children of North and South Korea, pushing the countries together. :)

After the tunnel, we looked around the entrance area, took pictures and read more signs about the history of the North and South. Most of us fell asleep on the trip back home, exhausted from walking and from the hot sun. But it was a wonderful day and I think we are all ready to see the day when the North and South become one!

~Pray for unification of Korea~

Language Shock

Oh, how I love languages!

Last weekend I went to Busan (부산: a city on the coast in southern Korea) and visited a Korean couple who I grew up with while I lived in Turkey. They do not speak any English, and my Korean is 노무 처굼 (very little), so our conversations consisted entirely of Turkish.

Turkish! My Turkish is good, but speaking Turkish alone for four days can be exhausting. Though I speak well enough, I have never considered myself "fluent" until this past weekend. My vocabulary is fairly simple, I still need to work on my grammar, and my understanding level is not nearly as high as one would call "fluent", but I noticed that I could get any point across that I wanted to my friends. I spent four nights at their home speaking in Turkish, listening in Turkish, writing in Turkish and literally thinking in Turkish. I got to share stories and feelings from my heart with them, and we understood each other on an adult level, instead of the childhood level often felt when speaking a foreign language.

Call it whatever you would like - language shock, language confusion, a language game - speaking Turkish in Korea was definitely a brain enhancer. My brain was as confused as one can get. Here's a small glimpse of some language shock my brain went through:

• Thursday afternoon through Monday morning I spoke Turkish with the Korean couple in Korea whom I met in Turkey.
• On Saturday morning I went and visited a Korean friend from high school in Turkey, but we spoke English with each other.
• On Saturday evening I went to a Korean child's birthday party of twin girls turning 100 days old - a very large celebration here. None of the family members spoke any English (or Turkish), so I spoke a tiny bit of Korean, and smiled the rest of the time.
• For the party, we went to a restaurant with many large rooms. In the room next to us at the celebration were about 100 Turks doing a three-day tour of Korea and Japan. (Wow!) I heard them speaking Turkish as we were getting food from the all-you-can-eat buffet.

I assure you, my brain was probably more mixed up than the tour group was jet-lagged.

But despite the language challenges (and language feats!), it was a fantastic weekend visiting old friends and living life with them. I loved getting to take part in their daily activities as well as visiting sites that are important to their childhood. If it wasn't for our connection of Turkish, we wouldn't have been able to speak with each other.

Language is such an amazing tool that brings cultures together - and especially brings cultures together when the language you speak with each other is of a third culture! :)

For those who cannot speak another language, try learning one. At least a few words! It's well worth the struggle and can help you build bridges between cultures!

You never know when you may need to speak the few words of Chinese you know with a Russian-born Hungarian in Mongolia. (No, I haven't had that opportunity...yet!)

The family I stayed with. :)

Visiting my friend from high school - Sunny!

Me being a tourist at Yonggungsa Buddhist Temple in Busan.

The twins turning 100 days old! They were adorable!

Puzzle Pieces

In high school I had a friend who would always read the last few pages of a novel before beginning it. She told me that she did it because she wanted to see if it was worth reading. Personally, I thought this idea was insane - what is the joy of reading the book if you already know the ending?!

I assume that part of my perspective is just built into me. Ever since I was young, I have enjoyed math problems, jig-saw puzzles, and mind games because of the joy of figuring them out, not because of what the answer or end result is. When the answer is given to me, the game instantly becomes uninteresting. In the same way, when I finally complete a jig-saw puzzle, I may look at it for a day or two and then pack it up to be completed another year. It was fitting the pieces together that I really enjoyed.

So much of life is compiled of the little unexpected pieces--

Ones that make you laugh: watching friends make cultural blunders and then trying to cover them up, awkward conversations with people who don't speak English (filled mainly with smiling and laughing at each other), texting your roommate who is sitting right next to you instead of studying like you both should be doing, and watching that Korean professor who semi-stalks you sheepishly wave at you in the dining hall.

And also pieces that make you discouraged: longings of homesickness, wishing you could see your brother graduate, stress from difficult relationships, trying to figure out your purpose in life, and feeling lonely in a foreign land, or even in a place you call home.

I wouldn't give up those little pieces for anything. They make up my story and without them, I would be an empty book. 

In some ways, I agree with my friend. I think knowing parts of the "ending" is important to encouraging you to keep moving on in life. It is beneficial to know what the jig-saw puzzle is going to look like in the end sometimes to help you put the pieces together. Or even that the math problem has an actual answer, (and isn't one of those imaginary numbers!). I often long to see the last chapter in my book, just to have a glimpse of where I am going. Thankfully, I know my book is worth continuing: I can see that clearly from what I have already read and from the small glimpse of the ending I've experienced.

But I know that if I read the end of my book, or even the next chapter, the rest wouldn't be worth reading for me. Not that my life isn't a good book - oh, how I long for my life to be a good book! - but the joy of reading it would be gone. I would already know the ending, and the puzzle would be put together.

So much of the significance of the end of something comes from how you get there. If you skip to the end, those little things seem even littler. But if you wait and read each chapter at a time, you get to watch how the little things grow and actually are what make up the big things. Though the end is  extremely important, it is how you get there that makes up the story.

And if you skip a few pages, the end seems significantly less significant.

Like jig-saw puzzles, though ultimately they form a beautiful picture to be looked at and awed after, their main purpose is to be put together. Without all the pieces, it wouldn't be a puzzle anymore, it would just be a picture.

And yes! Pictures are stunning! But how much more stunning is a picture when you have spent many long and hard hours watching each piece come perfectly together?!

Kimchi

This evening as I was sitting at dinner, I realized how many little cultural differences there are here that I have become accustomed to.

One being: 

Kimchi.

It is an essential side dish to every meal. I cannot imagine having a meal without it. Breakfast, lunch, dinner..if it is not there, the meal is simply, incomplete.

So what is Kimchi? It is a traditional Korean dish typically made from mainly fermented cabbage and red pepper. Two months ago, when I landed in Korea, I could not stand the food. It was disgusting - like trying to eat cold, chewy, and spicy..well, fermented cabbage.

But now, after eating it daily, three times a day, I actually enjoy the substance. I choose to eat it with my meal. I choose to mix it with my rice or eat it alongside my fishcakes. This evening I was disappointed when I finished it, and I even wished I had gotten more as I had gone through the food line. I probably wouldn't go insofar as to say I like it, but I definitely don't dislike it. I also probably won't eat it daily while I an dining in my dorm when I return to America in the fall, but that doesn't mean I won't have random cravings of it occasionally either. Mmm!

Yes, this is what I was thinking about during dinner this evening. Kimchi is just one example of a cultural difference I have gotten fairly used to.

Others?

Chicken. What is chicken? Does it exist in Korea? Not really. This evening they served chicken at the campus cafeteria and it was a luxury! I exclaimed, "Is that chicken!?" when I saw it. You don't realize what you are missing until someone suddenly serves it to you. I think it was the third time I had eaten chicken in two months. I have gotten fairly used to my fishcakes, pork, squid, and mystery meat instead.

Me holding up a fishcake from my fishcake soup. :)

Another difference: Paper towels. Why have paper towels when you can dry your hands on toilet paper, that conveniently shreds all over your wet hands!? I remember that on my first day in Korea after washing my hands in a campus restroom, I went to get paper towels and the dispenser was empty. I made a hasty conclusion that they simply hadn't filled them yet since school was not in session. Little did I know that they never filled them. Nor did the rest of Korea. Now I am accustomed to going back into a stall to dry my hands on toilet paper, or simply walking out with wet hands.

What is my point? There are some things in another culture that you get used to without even thinking about it. But when I do think about it, I really miss chicken, and I really miss paper towels too. I have simply just gotten used to living life without them, and living life with kimchi instead.

Kimchi (right) with picked radish (left), which likewise is served at almsot every meal.
I kinda, sorta, really, might actually like that too now. :)