43200 Minutes

As of today, I have exactly one month until I leave South Korea. My head is full of thoughts and my heart is full of feelings. I am nervous about leaving, excited about leaving, curious about leaving, thrilled about leaving..

But I find that it is often far too easy to jump ahead and wish you were elsewhere or further on in life. I have heard too many of the following statements, both from others and from inside myself. Some of them may be close to your own heart as well:

• Wishing and waiting for that one day when you will finally have your diploma in your hands.
• Wishing and waiting for that one day when you will finally be in a relationship.
• Wishing and waiting for that one day when you will finally get to travel to a foreign country.
• Wishing and waiting for that one day when you will finally be out of college debt.
• Wishing and waiting for that one day when you will finally know without a doubt God's calling for your life.
• Wishing and waiting for that one day when you will finally be free from [insert inner struggle].

Put in whatever "wishing and waiting" statement you would like, everyone has felt one somehow. And I feel it again now.

South Korea has been an amazing experience. I have loved studying abroad, and I wouldn't trade these last three months for anything! I think everyone should study abroad and get to experience the joys of being in a foreign country on your own in your youth. (If you're debating about studying abroad, go apply now!) It is such a wonderful experience to step on the soil of a new place and new culture and learn to adapt to its customs. I have learned SO much these past few months. I love Korea and I love Koreans!

Yet even though it has been wonderful, that doesn't mean that I'm not occasionally wishing and waiting for that one day when I can get on an airplane and leave too.

In all honesty, I am ready to go home. 

Which for me as a TCK, means I am ready to "feel at home". I am eager for a change in something, and my mind has told me that it needs to be a change of place or people since that is what I am used to. But I also know that it doesn't need to be that way. 

If God calls me to fall completely in love with where I am now, and feel at home here in the next 30 days, so be it!

The change can also be with perspective. A month is a long time and it is definitely enough time to continue living my life out for him here. I should be asking myself how I feel about staying, not about how I feel about leaving. Am I nervous, excited, curious or thrilled about staying? This song expresses a change in perspective that I want to have as I stay here this next month:

Now until forever

Jesus, I surrender

Show me what I don't know

More of you

I'm desperate for your presence

Longing to be with you

Lead me to a new place

More of you

Open my eyes

Let me see more of your love

More of your love

Here I will wait

Just for a glimpse of you, God

I'll wait for you God

I surrender it all. Instead of living this next month waiting for a change, I want to live this next month waiting on the Lord to show me what to do with each moment I have left. If God can use me to impact someone else's life in less than a minute, how much more can I serve him with 43200 minutes?

Oh! It makes me so very nervous, excited, curious and thrilled about staying!