Puzzle Pieces

In high school I had a friend who would always read the last few pages of a novel before beginning it. She told me that she did it because she wanted to see if it was worth reading. Personally, I thought this idea was insane - what is the joy of reading the book if you already know the ending?!

I assume that part of my perspective is just built into me. Ever since I was young, I have enjoyed math problems, jig-saw puzzles, and mind games because of the joy of figuring them out, not because of what the answer or end result is. When the answer is given to me, the game instantly becomes uninteresting. In the same way, when I finally complete a jig-saw puzzle, I may look at it for a day or two and then pack it up to be completed another year. It was fitting the pieces together that I really enjoyed.

So much of life is compiled of the little unexpected pieces--

Ones that make you laugh: watching friends make cultural blunders and then trying to cover them up, awkward conversations with people who don't speak English (filled mainly with smiling and laughing at each other), texting your roommate who is sitting right next to you instead of studying like you both should be doing, and watching that Korean professor who semi-stalks you sheepishly wave at you in the dining hall.

And also pieces that make you discouraged: longings of homesickness, wishing you could see your brother graduate, stress from difficult relationships, trying to figure out your purpose in life, and feeling lonely in a foreign land, or even in a place you call home.

I wouldn't give up those little pieces for anything. They make up my story and without them, I would be an empty book. 

In some ways, I agree with my friend. I think knowing parts of the "ending" is important to encouraging you to keep moving on in life. It is beneficial to know what the jig-saw puzzle is going to look like in the end sometimes to help you put the pieces together. Or even that the math problem has an actual answer, (and isn't one of those imaginary numbers!). I often long to see the last chapter in my book, just to have a glimpse of where I am going. Thankfully, I know my book is worth continuing: I can see that clearly from what I have already read and from the small glimpse of the ending I've experienced.

But I know that if I read the end of my book, or even the next chapter, the rest wouldn't be worth reading for me. Not that my life isn't a good book - oh, how I long for my life to be a good book! - but the joy of reading it would be gone. I would already know the ending, and the puzzle would be put together.

So much of the significance of the end of something comes from how you get there. If you skip to the end, those little things seem even littler. But if you wait and read each chapter at a time, you get to watch how the little things grow and actually are what make up the big things. Though the end is  extremely important, it is how you get there that makes up the story.

And if you skip a few pages, the end seems significantly less significant.

Like jig-saw puzzles, though ultimately they form a beautiful picture to be looked at and awed after, their main purpose is to be put together. Without all the pieces, it wouldn't be a puzzle anymore, it would just be a picture.

And yes! Pictures are stunning! But how much more stunning is a picture when you have spent many long and hard hours watching each piece come perfectly together?!

Kimchi

This evening as I was sitting at dinner, I realized how many little cultural differences there are here that I have become accustomed to.

One being: 

Kimchi.

It is an essential side dish to every meal. I cannot imagine having a meal without it. Breakfast, lunch, dinner..if it is not there, the meal is simply, incomplete.

So what is Kimchi? It is a traditional Korean dish typically made from mainly fermented cabbage and red pepper. Two months ago, when I landed in Korea, I could not stand the food. It was disgusting - like trying to eat cold, chewy, and spicy..well, fermented cabbage.

But now, after eating it daily, three times a day, I actually enjoy the substance. I choose to eat it with my meal. I choose to mix it with my rice or eat it alongside my fishcakes. This evening I was disappointed when I finished it, and I even wished I had gotten more as I had gone through the food line. I probably wouldn't go insofar as to say I like it, but I definitely don't dislike it. I also probably won't eat it daily while I an dining in my dorm when I return to America in the fall, but that doesn't mean I won't have random cravings of it occasionally either. Mmm!

Yes, this is what I was thinking about during dinner this evening. Kimchi is just one example of a cultural difference I have gotten fairly used to.

Others?

Chicken. What is chicken? Does it exist in Korea? Not really. This evening they served chicken at the campus cafeteria and it was a luxury! I exclaimed, "Is that chicken!?" when I saw it. You don't realize what you are missing until someone suddenly serves it to you. I think it was the third time I had eaten chicken in two months. I have gotten fairly used to my fishcakes, pork, squid, and mystery meat instead.

Me holding up a fishcake from my fishcake soup. :)

Another difference: Paper towels. Why have paper towels when you can dry your hands on toilet paper, that conveniently shreds all over your wet hands!? I remember that on my first day in Korea after washing my hands in a campus restroom, I went to get paper towels and the dispenser was empty. I made a hasty conclusion that they simply hadn't filled them yet since school was not in session. Little did I know that they never filled them. Nor did the rest of Korea. Now I am accustomed to going back into a stall to dry my hands on toilet paper, or simply walking out with wet hands.

What is my point? There are some things in another culture that you get used to without even thinking about it. But when I do think about it, I really miss chicken, and I really miss paper towels too. I have simply just gotten used to living life without them, and living life with kimchi instead.

Kimchi (right) with picked radish (left), which likewise is served at almsot every meal.
I kinda, sorta, really, might actually like that too now. :)

Cherry Blossoms of Blessings!

Midterms are coming up, international student clubs are beginning, and little stressors keep pulling at me from every direction. Today I register for my fall classes, and this week I will attend my final day of my classes until midterm week. I am nearly half-way through my time here and I can barely believe it. 

Yet with all that is going on, as I look around me, flowers are blooming, relationships are deepening, and upcoming future decisions are becoming more and more clear as days go by. With each morning comes new joys!

~~Joys and blessings from this week~~

The Colorado Girls: These girls give me life. I cannot express how incredibly blessed I have been by Stephanie, Clara and Susanna this semester. They traveled from UNC with me and we have become such close friends in a short amount of time. They have been my listening ears to me so many times and I have loved getting to know them each. We've traveled foreign cities together, laughed together, explored together, cried together, studied together, and of course, eaten ice cream together. I love you girls. Thanks for experiencing Korea with me! <3

CCC: This community has been such an encouragement to me! Our times together have been filled with much laughter and much joy! They welcome me like one of them and love me even though they do not know me. Despite the language barrier, it is wonderful to be surrounded by like-minded people who love God and love people! I look forward to getting to know these people even better over the next few months!

New Friends: I meet new people almost daily, but sometimes I meet people for the first time who capture my heart with the joy that they radiate to everyone around them. This girl, Asra is one of those girls. :) And Susanna too! Oh, she is such a joy! I can't wait to be her roommate in the fall!

Cherry Blossoms: Flowers! Bees! Asian Culture! Springtime! Loving families and people each with a story. <3

"It's always like springtime with You, 

Making all things new,

Your light is breaking through the dark.

This love it is sweeter than wine,

Bringing joy, bringing life,

Your hope is rising like the dawn."

Listen to "This Is What You Do" by Bethel Music here:

Take a moment to think about what blessings you can be thankful for today.

:)

So, Will You?

~~ Thoughts from a foreign exchange student ~~

Above everything, don't expect me to remember your name. Yes, I see you every morning and evening at mealtime in the dining hall. Yes, I have asked you for your name over 20 times. Yes, I will probably remember your face and your personality. But when I meet over 70 people in the first week who all have foreign names, no matter how many times I will ask you, I won't remember. And after the first few weeks, I will stop asking. Love me and forgive me, and remind me of your name, but please don't expect me to remember it.

It is not the people who know my name and say hello to me daily who mean the most to me here. Everyone knows my name. I am "the foreigner", "the tall girl", "the Christian girl", "the ITS student", "the one that smiles", or simply, "조앤나". Yes, I am aware of my names and that you know me. I appreciate how you say hi to me in the hallway, but I don't know who you are. It's the people who initiate with me who mean everything. It's those who ask me to coffee or lunch, who go out of their way to walk me to class under their umbrella, who ask me how I am really adjusting, and who speak to me in Korean because they know I want to learn but don't get any practice. It's the ones who take time out of their day to get to know me who I remember.

International students are seeking life! We have time on our hands, money to spend (some), nowhere to be, and a life we're searching for. We are outside our comfort zone, outside our home, outside our boundaries, and willing to get to know you. Live life with me. Invite me to things. Speak to me despite the language barrier. Ask me how I am. We need to be loved on and shown who God is, especially while we are away from all we've ever known.

You already have your friend group. You know who you can go to when you need to cry, or who to talk to when you need help. We don't. Be my friend and invite me into your friend group. Thank you for inviting me to a birthday party for someone I don't know and for inviting me to lunch with your friends even though they don't speak my language. It is the things like that that remind me that life here is normal for you. You never know, I could become your next best friend. (One of the international students I met in Colorado became mine!)

I don't get cultural cues or pop references. What is so funny? Why did you cover your face when he said something? Why is she acting like that? Though you have continued on in conversation, I am still trying to figure out what you were saying 5 minutes ago. Please stop and explain things to me. I want to learn. Language barriers and cultural differences create tension and can promote isolation, but if you take a moment to explain something, I will catch on much quicker.

I love your country. I spent money and flew all the way here to get to know your culture and experience life with you. I would love to learn about your culture from you personally. Take me to a local coffee shop. Show me a local historical sight. Invite me to your home. Offer me your favorite traditional food. If you don't, I will end up learning about the culture from a foreign perspective, and so much of it's beauty will be missed.

Of course, I would love to do the same with you. Do not be shy to ask me about America, or Turkey, or wherever you think I am from. Ask me questions on how to say things in my language. Ask me what I do on Easter with my family. Ask me about what my high school was like. More than likely you have misunderstandings about my country, my religion, or my culture, just I had/have the same about yours. I am willing to share and teach, but I won't unless you are interested. 

Lastly, let me serve you. As crazy as it seems, I love you. I loved you before I met you and came all this way to meet you. Let me buy you ice cream. Let me help you with your homework assignment. Let me listen to you rant all night about your boyfriend. I am here and I want to get to know you. Though we have different backgrounds and cultures, I understand. I get pain. I get joy. I get confusion. And I want to get to know you. I love you.

I have stepped out of my comfort zone to come here. 

Will you step out of yours?

Hiraeth

For four years, I have dreamed of visiting South Korea. It is a joy and a blessing to finally be here, visiting the homeland of so many of my dearest friends, and experiencing Asian soil beneath my feet. Here I am next to Korea University Sejong Campus with the city of Jochiwon behind me.

Today I thought I would write about home. Home of course, is the theme of my blog and is on my heart often. I haven't written for a few days, mainly because my thoughts have been focused on "hiraeth" and I am not exactly sure how to form them all into words. Hiraeth is a Welsh word that does not translate directly into English. It conveys a longing for a home of long ago; a kind of homesickness; eagerness for something undiscovered; nostalgia; grief of past and future goodbyes; a yearning for home.

As a third culture kid, so much of my longings for home are represented by that word. It is a place unknown, long past, distant and vast. I cannot quite reach it, and yet in so many ways it is so tangible and is rooted deep inside of me.

Here in Korea sometimes I feel at home but other times I feel as far from home as possible. My heart is in Asia. My heart is in Turkey. My heart is in Colorado. My home is everywhere: the places I've been, and the places I have not been, with the people I love and with the people I have yet to meet. 

My home seems very far away, 

Exactly where I cannot say. 

Sometimes it hides in countries afar, 

But other times within my heart. 

I cannot tell you where it lies,

No one knows except the wise. 

You'll find it here, you'll find it there,

You'll find pieces of it everywhere.

To know my place is all I seek,

To be where my heart feels complete,

To have this wisdom is my goal:

To make each place 'home' within my soul,

To set my feet firm on this ground,

Where joy and life spring all around,

Where bonds of love grow and spread,

And to have a place to rest my head.

Oh take me home! To where I'm from,

To where I've been. To where I've run. 

Take me to places I've never known,

For maybe there I'll find my home.

Where family is, where friendships thrive,

Where culture holds and hugs me tight,

It's nowhere and anywhere, for all of my days.

My home will be everywhere, always.

A view of Seoul from the top of Namsan Tower. 10 million people, each with a home.

While the city life prospers, the village life thrives! New high-rises and electrical lines create an interesting backdrop as locals next door continue planting crops year after year. I LOVE views like this - seeing the difference of lifestyles & the differences of homes. <3

The other Colorado girls, Stephanie, Susanna and Clara, in Jochiwon, Korea. They have become some of my best friends in such a short amount of time, and I'm so thankful that I was blessed to travel with girls from my Colorado home. I love them so much!

Me in CheongJu, by a resting pagoda at the top of SangDangSanSeong Fortress. :) I am in love with Asia. <3