So, Will You?

~~ Thoughts from a foreign exchange student ~~

Above everything, don't expect me to remember your name. Yes, I see you every morning and evening at mealtime in the dining hall. Yes, I have asked you for your name over 20 times. Yes, I will probably remember your face and your personality. But when I meet over 70 people in the first week who all have foreign names, no matter how many times I will ask you, I won't remember. And after the first few weeks, I will stop asking. Love me and forgive me, and remind me of your name, but please don't expect me to remember it.

It is not the people who know my name and say hello to me daily who mean the most to me here. Everyone knows my name. I am "the foreigner", "the tall girl", "the Christian girl", "the ITS student", "the one that smiles", or simply, "조앤나". Yes, I am aware of my names and that you know me. I appreciate how you say hi to me in the hallway, but I don't know who you are. It's the people who initiate with me who mean everything. It's those who ask me to coffee or lunch, who go out of their way to walk me to class under their umbrella, who ask me how I am really adjusting, and who speak to me in Korean because they know I want to learn but don't get any practice. It's the ones who take time out of their day to get to know me who I remember.

International students are seeking life! We have time on our hands, money to spend (some), nowhere to be, and a life we're searching for. We are outside our comfort zone, outside our home, outside our boundaries, and willing to get to know you. Live life with me. Invite me to things. Speak to me despite the language barrier. Ask me how I am. We need to be loved on and shown who God is, especially while we are away from all we've ever known.

You already have your friend group. You know who you can go to when you need to cry, or who to talk to when you need help. We don't. Be my friend and invite me into your friend group. Thank you for inviting me to a birthday party for someone I don't know and for inviting me to lunch with your friends even though they don't speak my language. It is the things like that that remind me that life here is normal for you. You never know, I could become your next best friend. (One of the international students I met in Colorado became mine!)

I don't get cultural cues or pop references. What is so funny? Why did you cover your face when he said something? Why is she acting like that? Though you have continued on in conversation, I am still trying to figure out what you were saying 5 minutes ago. Please stop and explain things to me. I want to learn. Language barriers and cultural differences create tension and can promote isolation, but if you take a moment to explain something, I will catch on much quicker.

I love your country. I spent money and flew all the way here to get to know your culture and experience life with you. I would love to learn about your culture from you personally. Take me to a local coffee shop. Show me a local historical sight. Invite me to your home. Offer me your favorite traditional food. If you don't, I will end up learning about the culture from a foreign perspective, and so much of it's beauty will be missed.

Of course, I would love to do the same with you. Do not be shy to ask me about America, or Turkey, or wherever you think I am from. Ask me questions on how to say things in my language. Ask me what I do on Easter with my family. Ask me about what my high school was like. More than likely you have misunderstandings about my country, my religion, or my culture, just I had/have the same about yours. I am willing to share and teach, but I won't unless you are interested. 

Lastly, let me serve you. As crazy as it seems, I love you. I loved you before I met you and came all this way to meet you. Let me buy you ice cream. Let me help you with your homework assignment. Let me listen to you rant all night about your boyfriend. I am here and I want to get to know you. Though we have different backgrounds and cultures, I understand. I get pain. I get joy. I get confusion. And I want to get to know you. I love you.

I have stepped out of my comfort zone to come here. 

Will you step out of yours?